since the very first time can sense you are there for me, after all there's like no link and connection between us anymore. I guess probably I miss you too much and u no longer existing? Am I giving up? I don't know, I was deseparated and hurt. Past few weeks my tears can fill up a big jar, my sadness as heavier as a mountain, my lips dropped till my toes. I need fresh air to breath, I need some energy to bring me up. Where are you? You don't need me at all? Why I needed you? I'm sorry.
Do u know recently I recalled back of the him. I dreamed him. I missed him. How much I wish to hug him as tight as possible, never let him go away. The post dream syndrome been making me so Low and fragile. I need a shield to protect me, I need a hand pull me out from my illusion. I need you bring me reality. Baby, I don't want to waste any one more day that can be with you. I don't want my love and care and concern and everything put on a wrong person. I wish all that belong to you only for you.
As a strong woman we need to enjoy every single day that still free from controlling, free from being someone's else, no need to think about what can do better for you, make any decision no need put anyone at first place first, do as crazy as you can, play as fun as you can...enjoy every single day that you iblybbelong to you yourself. I know, and I am. Days go by, you still wish that beside you there are someone share happiness share food share time share every feelings with you. 2is better than 1. Those freedom needed by people who used to tight with a rope and stay in a box.
Recently, exams, assignments, presentations been settled down, and life strict to nothing. Life sudden turns so meaningless and without and direction. I'm Glad that I found my habit and interests, w/o it I have no idea how bad I can turn to, how shameless I can be. Probably, workout, yoga, jogging, Swimming, walking around, exploring loneliness been occupied half of my year time, and this half year make my life so meaningful, and very passionate. I can feel how youth am I, how proud to myself.
I kinda need more exploring on my knowledge, I wish I able to read up more news and aware of the current situation, find out more interest topics, be a knowledgable person that it could be benefits on my critical thinking and the healthcare image for my future patients.
Being a year 3 nursing student, I can't wait for a chance to make myself serve for people, at the same time I do worry about my skills level appropriate to help out for patient? I doubt on myself. I only could wish I can do my best, never make mistakes that can contribute the a big complications, patient can have the best quality of care, the most important things is they able to have a fruitful and healthy life, that's all my aimed for my nursing life. I promise I will improve myself to make it as much as possible that I can :)
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